Food and Health Tips

It's that time of the year when only 3 words in the vocabulary survive the test of time - eat, sleep and......errr....make that 2 words! After pangs of hunger come pangs of guilt at having consumed food which would be better spent on a family in need of basic nutrition. Chinese New Year feasting has that effect on ya!

To top that, food has someway of hibernating in the body, and without the daily dosage of exercise like walking 4 flights of steps to the carpark, it threatens to becoming a permanent fixture in places that make you feel and look like......fat bastard!
Trying to clear email at work does good work for the fingers! I came across this email sent to me by a firm believer in alternative health practices. It mademe feel instantaneously much better about what I've been doing the past few weeks....and I'd like to share it with you....

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolonglife; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out ofthe fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, yourratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! Round' is a shape!

That email ended with a final remark :

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had aboutfood and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally wornout, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Wish this were true! :P